I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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