you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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