no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
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I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
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You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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