please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
