hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
