Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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