So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
