he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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