At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
