I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
