so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
