I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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