i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
