my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
