gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
