theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
