the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
