I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
