so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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