with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
