so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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