I'd wear matching sweaters with you
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
