what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
