You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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