i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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