How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
don't judge my taste in strippers
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
