My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize