those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
