Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I had to cum in my sink.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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