I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It's blow job season.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
