STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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