What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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