love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
