Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
