would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
