Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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