Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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