..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
