I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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