There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
