He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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