just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
