Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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