What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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