Do you still have your period?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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