how can u be prego again
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
