these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
