Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
