No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize