How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
