That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize