I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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