new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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