Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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