i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
The air taste purple.
Randomize
