What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
