he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Welp...herpes.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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